My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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