dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I have post one night stand depression
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