her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night