my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy