I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan