Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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