i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
