Four minutes until I can fart!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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