end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize