It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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