you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
