Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
