You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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