There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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