Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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