sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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