remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize