the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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