we have officially lost it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
