he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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