The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
