i don't like sucking hair
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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