he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
