I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
