I accidentally had phone sex last night
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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