we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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