You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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