dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
