Im at strip club and am horny
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
