i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?