just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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