That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
