its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
