i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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