Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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