I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
