my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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