got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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