4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.