So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.