Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.