just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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