Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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