This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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