This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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