Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
