I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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