After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize