I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
