I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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