Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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