In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
