hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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