gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
